


Loyal

by jensenacklesruinedmylife



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Angst, Archery, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Forbidden Love, Hurt/Comfort, Kings & Queens, M/M, Modern Royalty, Mutual Pining, Protectiveness, Royalty, Seelie Realm, Supportive Isabelle Lightwood, The Clave (Shadowhunter Chronicles), jace and alec have a lot of feelings, jalec - Freeform, robert is dead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-24
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:55:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22885900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jensenacklesruinedmylife/pseuds/jensenacklesruinedmylife
Summary: “Hey.”Jace’s voice is soft and warm and right in front of him, barely a whisper in his ears. Alec’s breath catches at the sudden closeness; he can feel the warmth radiating from the body in front of him, the sheer magnetism between them, but he keeps his eyes closed, worried he’ll lose all restraint otherwise. He feels a pair of hesitant hands move to rest on his hips.“Jace,” Alec breathes, voice strained. When he places an open palm against Jace’s broad chest, he tells himself it’s so he can keep his distance. They rarely dare to get this close, to give into each other, but today is different; today, everything changes.***Heavy is the head that wears the crown...This is the story of a young king who is forced to make a choice:Loyalty or love?
Relationships: Alec Lightwood & Jace Wayland, Alec Lightwood/Jace Wayland
Comments: 25
Kudos: 63





	1. you should see me in a crown [The Ceremony]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Bite my tongue, bide my time  
>  Wearing a warning sign  
> Wait 'til the world is mine..._
> 
> _You should see me in a crown  
>  I'm gonna run this nothing town  
> Watch me make 'em bow, one by  
> one by,  
> one..._
> 
> _\- Billie Eilish_

Alexander Lightwood is no longer a prince.

The official crowning ceremony is held in the Court of the Clave, and it seems the entire kingdom has gathered to bear witness to greatness in the making. All members of the Clave rise from their seats behind him, as the former queen, his mother, dressed in garments so delicate they almost mirror her wedding attire from so many years ago, prepares to place the solid gold crown on his bowed head. When she does, he looks up at her, and there are tears in her eyes; she is so _proud_ of him, but he’s not so sure what he’s accomplished.

And the crown, the crown is so _heavy._

“I now pronounce to you, people of the Shadowhunter Kingdom, his majesty, King Alexander Gideon Lightwood.”

Just like that, he is the king.

He rises from his kneeling position, standing with his back straight, hands clasped behind him, like a good soldier, gazing at the crowd in front of him. These are his people, his father’s people before him, and his grandfather’s people before that. This is his legacy, he was born for this, _bred_ for this, and as he looks at the faces in the crowd – his siblings, his friends, all standing and clapping along with the brass fanfare that echoes through the hall, sound reverberating from the high ceilings – he is almost surprised; they all believe in him, and they all love him, as they always have.

Only now, they all fear him.

Suddenly, Alexander is overwhelmed with the fact that he is ruler of an _entire fucking kingdom_. The sound in the hall is almost deafening, and all Alec wants to do is take off the cloak and the crown and escape to the grounds where he can be _alone,_ just him and the trees and his bow and quiver, but he’s a true Lightwood, knows his duties, and never leaves a job unfinished. So, he smiles, nods to his subjects, takes his mother’s hand and kisses it, in thanks. He turns, bows to the members of The Clave, a gesture of respect, a promise to fulfil his sacred vow, to be loyal to country, in both times of peace, and times of war. They bow to him in return, silently confirming their expectations.

When he turns to face his people once again, they’re all bowing to him – women bowing at the hip, men bending on a knee, hats removed and held to their hearts. Alec feels a pair of eyes searching him out then, the heterochromia making the man they belong to easy to spot, even in a crowd this large. Jace looks up at him with pride, love, and concern – they’ve always been able to read each other like open books. Alec tries not to stare, but he can’t seem to pull his eyes away. Here is his brother, the person he loves most in this world, bowing to him in servitude. He doesn’t realize how unprepared he is for that to happen until the very moment it does.

…

To everyone else, Alec looks comfortable, dutiful, ready to lead, but Jace knows he can’t wait to get out of here. He’s never been one for big ceremonies. He almost refused to give a speech at their graduation from The Institute, telling his parents that he would rather just attend his graduation like a normal student, not a royal. He gave the speech anyway, because it was tradition, and his parents raised him to do what was expected of him, but he didn’t enjoy it.

Jace can tell this is a similar performance, Alec following tradition to make his mother happy, smiling and waving as a new king should, but behind all that, he was still Prince Alec, itching to run away from prying eyes to practice archery, pick up a good book, or go for a secret swim in the lake. Right now, Jace can tell that the magnitude of the ceremony is dawning on Alec, and all he wants to do is run to him, embrace him, tell him that everything will be okay – but he resists.

They hold each other’s gaze for almost too long, Isabelle bumping lightly into his side in warning. He breaks the stare, worrying briefly about what Alec’s new title means for their relationship. They had always been… more than just brothers, in a sense. Their bond only grew as they aged, and they started to question if it was dangerous, if it was _wrong_ to feel this way about another man, especially someone you considered your brother. But the thought alone almost ripped them apart, so they simply left it alone and continued on as always, as if they didn’t know better.

But they know better now.

The crowd stands again, applauding the new king as he makes his way through them. Flowers, jewels, and gold coins are thrown in his path – good omens, wishing luck upon the kingdom and its ruler. Jace takes a moment, while all eyes are on the king, to stare openly at Alexander and appreciate just how _beautiful_ he is. His royal garments fit him perfectly, cloak falling from his shoulders like it was made just for him. He holds himself with such grace, such _power,_ that Jace is sure he would be a royal in any life, even without the Lightwood name. His dark eyes stare straight ahead, thick brows furrowed and serious, his pink lips pressed tightly together. Jace tries not to look at Alec’s mouth for too long, knowing where his mind will go if he allows it. He shakes his head, regaining his composure and clapping along with everyone else as King Alexander exists the hall, their mother, the former queen, in tow, followed by the members of The Clave. Soon after, the crowd disperses, breaking into smalls groups to make their way to the banquet hall on the opposite side of the grounds, where a ball is to be held in honor of the new king. The women gather together, running off to their chambers to change into their gowns, while the men exit onto the grounds to smoke their cigars and make conversation.

“I’m going to go change,” Isabelle says next to him, her voice still full of excitement, “I’ll meet you there?”

“Yeah, hey uh, can you take Max with you?”

“What? No, I wanna go with you!”

The youngest Lightwood pouts, stomping his foot in protest. At only seven, Max is already so demanding, so eager to be a man, so desperate to be seen as royal. Jace hopes he doesn’t grow up too fast.

Isabelle laughs, “Come on, Max, I’m not _that_ bad.”

“Promise you won’t put your makeup on me, and I’ll consider it.”

“Prince Max, you drive a hard bargain, but fine, no makeup.”

The boy huffs but takes his sister’s hand as she leads him to the Lightwood living quarters. She glances back at Jace, raising a brow in question. He merely tilts his chin toward the grounds outside the window, an area reserved for the Lightwoods, and her question is answered.

He needs to find Alexander, and they need to _talk._


	2. Between Friends [The Confrontation]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _If I wasn’t even there, how would that make you feel again?  
>  To feel again?  
> If you wanna be my friend  
> You’ve gotta stop being so damn cold to me.  
> If you wanna be my friend  
> Stop trying to be my lover, lover_
> 
> _If you think you can do well  
>  Please don’t think about the consequence  
> The consequence, to me..._
> 
> _\- Japanese Wallpaper_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> INTRODUCING AN ANGST-RIDDEN PART TWO. I hope you enjoy it, it was so much fun to write. I can't wait to share what happens next. Probably more angst? Mwahaha.  
> Leave me comments if you wish, I would love to hear your thoughts. This ship gives me so many feels.  
> xo, Edwina

“How did you know I’d be here?” Alec asks, arrow held back firmly against the bow. He doesn’t turn around, doesn’t have to; he can sense his best friend from a mile away. He’s the only one, besides Izzy, who knows where to find him when he disappears.

“Mom is worried,” comes Jace’s reply, his steps in the grass pausing a few feet away. “I told her I’d find you.”

Alec scoffs, readjusts his position, “ _I_ told her I just needed some air.”

“Ball starts in half an hour.”

“I think I’ve earned the right to be fashionably late.”

“Alec.”

Alexander releases his hold on the arrow then – distracted by the way Jace says his name –watches it slice through the air and miss the bullseye by two inches, maybe.

“Dammit,” he curses, reaching back to grab another arrow from his quiver, lining himself up with the target as he prepares his bow, holds it up high to take aim. He knows he’ll miss again; he’s too tense. He blames his brother anyway.

“You made me miss.”

“We need to talk.”

Alec doesn’t want to have this conversation. A breeze blows, and he shakes the hair out of his face. There’s barely a cloud in the sky as the sun starts to dip overhead, signaling the end of the day. He can hear the ocean in the silence, somehow close enough to hear but still too far to see, to feel, to _touch._

“I know,” he retorts, letting the arrow go again, this shot landing a little too far to the left. He sighs, letting his arm fall to his side, bow in hand. He turns himself around then, looks at Jace, who still stands a good distance away, head cocked to the side, _observing_ him with narrowed eyes, a look that Alexander is all too familiar with.

“I know,” he repeats, letting the air in his chest leave his body with a heavy sigh. He brings his free hand up to his face, rubs his temples with his fingers. His head is spinning, filled with questions and fears, possibilities and hopes, anxieties and doubts, and then – nothing.

“Hey.”

Jace’s voice is soft and warm and right in front of him, barely a whisper in his ears. Alec’s breath catches at the sudden closeness; he can feel the warmth radiating from the body in front of him, the sheer _magnetism_ between them, but he keeps his eyes closed, worried he’ll lose all restraint otherwise. He feels a pair of hesitant hands move to rest on his hips.

“Jace,” Alec breathes, voice strained. When he places an open palm against Jace’s broad chest, he tells himself it’s so he can keep his distance. They rarely dare to get this close, to give into each other, but today is different; today, everything changes. His mouth is dry, and he licks his lips, knows he needs to say something, _anything,_ to tell Jace they can’t do this anymore, that it’s not safe, that someone might see them, but even the thought of it hurts like hell, and all he can manage is a weak attempt at rejection.

“Jace, I… we can’t.”

“Why not?”

Alec opens his eyes then, takes a step back from Jace, who visibly winces, like the existence of any space between them physically pains him.

 _“Why not?”_ Alec asks, incredulous, “Do you understand what happened today? Do you understand what it means? Jace, they’ve crowned me as king!”

“The throne can’t change who we are –.”

“Don’t be a fool –!”

“— or _what_ we are to each other.”

“I don’t know what we are!” Alec yells, and he doesn’t usually lose his temper, regrets it immediately, but he’s _frustrated_. He thought Jace would make this easier, thought he would pull away first, make an effort to continue their friendship, their brotherhood, and close the door on whatever _this_ was – dangerous, unlawful, _wrong._

…

“How can you say that to me?” Jace asks quietly, unable to hide how much the words hurt him, “How can you not know?”

Alec isn’t looking at him. He’s breathing hard, eyes downcast, fingers curled tight around the smooth wood of his bow, like he wants to hit something and is trying to control himself.

Jace almost wants Alec to lash out, wants an excuse to let his fists fly – they’ve never been good at _talking_ about their feelings, opting instead to share their emotions through lingering touches, hard stares, and hugs that last a bit too long.

“Don’t,” Alexander growls, closing his eyes before lifting his head to meet Jace’s gaze, “We aren’t doing this right now.”

“What, do you expect me to just let this go? Let _us_ go?”

“There is no more _us,_ ” Alec snaps, standing straighter, chin held high. He says it with such confidence, such finality that Jace feels something inside him break. He can’t believe what he’s hearing, doesn’t recognize his brother anymore. He takes a step back out of pure shock. He knew things might have to change between them, knew it wouldn’t be easy to navigate their relationship with Alexander reigning as king, but this? This he did _not_ expect.

“I am your king now,” Alec continues, voice level, and Jace knows the walls are up, watches them rise right in front of him. “I am still your brother, still your friend… but nothing more.”

“Are you fucking serious right now?” Jace fumes, rage filling his veins. He can feel himself losing control, and lets the pain and fear turn to anger, “After everything we’ve been through, you’re really going to do this?” He takes two steps forward, crowding Alec, shoving him roughly with his hands.

Alec looks surprised for half a second as he staggers backward before anger masks his features. He lunges forward, bow still in hand, shoving Jace in the opposite direction.

“I’m not going to fight you!” he grunts, dropping his bow and taking a defensive stance, arms up, legs apart, knees bent. Jace knows it well, knows _him_ well – when they fight like this, in battle training, it’s as if their hearts beat as one. They anticipate each other’s moves, match each other’s breaths, and are equal in both skill and strength.

“Then get ready to take a beating, _my king,_ ” Jace mocks, raising his fists, “because I’m not letting _us_ go without a fight.”

He doesn’t expect the punch that flies into his face, quick and precise. The pain that blooms around his nose is not unfamiliar, but it still hurts.

“There is _no us,_ ” Alexander repeats firmly, like a punch in the face would make his point. The way he says it, like it’s always been true, makes Jace’s stomach twist. He springs forward, yelling and hitting and punching almost blindly, Alec blocking most of his attack, taking quick steps backward, still on the defensive.

“Jace, stop!” Alec orders, but Jace ignores him, his fist connecting with the side of the king’s face, _hard,_ and there’s blood trailing down his lips, dripping onto his shirt.

There’s a pause then, purely out of habit – usually when one of them starts bleeding, they stop, giving the injured party time to recover. They look at each other for a moment, and Jace sees a question in Alec’s eyes, but Jace doesn’t budge, doesn’t back off, doesn’t look away.

“Okay,” Alec hisses, spitting blood into the grass before removing the quiver from his back and tossing it to the side. “This is what you want?”

“You know what I _want,_ ” Jace grunts, and he doesn’t mean to sound so desperate, but it happens, and clearly Alec notices, because something like empathy flashes across his face before he frowns, lifts a leg and kicks Jace straight in the chest, sending the blond flying backward onto the ground.

Before Jace can catch his breath, Alec is on top of him, arm raised to deliver a blow. Jace’s hand juts out, grabbing his fist and twisting, causing Alec to lose his balance. He takes that opportunity to kick out his knee, then flips their bodies, folding Alec’s arms in a brief lock. Brief, because a few seconds later, Alec manages to free an arm, and immediately elbows Jace in the head. It’s not a serious blow, but it’s enough to shift Jace’s weight, allowing Alec to escape his hold with a swift knee to the stomach. Jace groans, rolling away so he has space to stand, scrambling to his feet, ready to duck as he expects Alec to come at him with another punch, but when he looks up, Alec is lifting his bow and arrow, aimed right at him.

They’re both heaving, chests rising and falling heavily, faces bloodied and hands bruised. Jace isn’t sure how to react; he never anticipated this. He should do something, and his mind tells to run, to attack, to _move,_ but he’s frozen in place. All he can hear in his head is the rushing of blood and three little words he’s never allowed himself to say aloud – the words that burn in his throat every time Alec enters a room, or calls him by name, or smiles.

As they stare at each other now, Jace tries to tell him this, tries to get the message across with his eyes as time stands still between them. The sun has almost set completely now, hidden behind the trees as the daylight quickly fades away. Jace isn’t sure what prompts him to do it, but he finds himself walking _toward_ Alec’s bow. He watches Alec hesitate, bow wavering for a millisecond before it stabilizes again, aim still locked on Jace.

“Jace, don’t make –.”

“Do it,” Jace interrupts, surprised to hear his own voice. He stands only a few feet away from the end of the arrow now, arms held out in surrender. He’s come to a conclusion in his mind, let’s the truth tumble from his lips, because he has nothing left to lose.

“I don’t want to be alive if we can’t be together.”


	3. Break Apart [The Accusation]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _You're my favourite, you're my favourite  
>  But we're phasing, but we're phasing..._
> 
> _Instead of something to break apart  
>  Instead, it's just broke apart  
> Stand up and shake this heart  
> Instead, it's just a break apart from us_
> 
> _I should've heard your fear  
>  Shame on me  
> I should've heard your needs  
> Shame on me_
> 
> _Help me out on me, help me out on me..._
> 
> _\- Bonobo_

Alexander now holds the most powerful position in all the land, and yet he has never felt more _out_ of control in his life.

Jace’s words throw him off completely, and his aim wavers for another second before locking back onto the man standing in front of him. He’s not even sure what he’s doing, threatening Jace like this, as if he’d actually release the bow, as if he’d actually… he can’t even _think_ of the words, can barely stand the idea of his brother’s life ending, especially not by Alec’s own hand.

“Not another step,” Alec warns through gritted teeth.

Jace stills, but his arms stay wide open, as if daring Alec to take the shot. They stare at each other for a long time, just like that, as the wind blows through the trees that surround them, and Alec can tell he’s shaking. There are tears in Jace’s eyes, looking at him like he’s trying to tell him something, something true and sincere and important, but Alec doesn’t want to know what it is. He’s terrified that he feels the same thing that Alec does, which makes this entire situation that much more fucked up.

More than that, it’s illegal.

Alec exhales, lowering the bow and arrow, pointing them toward the grass, still engaged.

“There’s something I have to tell you,” Jace says in a quiet, cautious voice, letting his arms drop to his sides. He stays put, however, and for that, Alec is grateful. He won’t be able to handle this if they get any closer. It makes him weak. _Jace_ makes him weak.

Jace is his weak spot, always has been, and it wasn’t a problem until he became king.

“I think you know what it is,” Jace continues, “I think you feel it, too.”

“No!” Alec shouts, growing even more tense. He looks around, knowing that his royal guards will soon come and find him, now that it’s sundown. He will surely be late arriving to the banquet hall, not that he even wants to go, but it’s tradition. He’ll go, if only make his mother, _his people,_ proud.

But what of Jace?

“You do, don’t you?” Jace prods, looking relieved, like this is a _good_ thing, and not Alec’s worst nightmare playing out in slow motion. “I knew it.”

“Don’t… I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Alec lies, but his brother sees right through it, _as always._

“Don’t lie to me, Alec, I _know_ you,” he states, “better than anyone! I know you feel it, I know you love – _ah, shit!_ ”

It happens before Alec is aware of his own movements, the bow and arrow aiming for Jace again as he releases the weapon. He misses intentionally, he realizes, only attempting to fire a warning shot out of sheer frustration, but Jace must have moved his head just a fraction, because the arrow catches his ear.

Alec holds his breath, terror filling his gut, making him drop his bow to the ground. _What did I do?_ Jace stares at him like he’s thinking the same thing, one hand pressed to the side of his head. He moves his hand and Alec tries to see the damage. It looks like the tip of the arrow grazed the outer portion of his earlobe, and it’s bleeding pretty badly, drops falling onto his shoulder and staining his blue shirt, but he’ll survive.

“You…you hit me,” Jace utters in disbelief, looking down at his bloodied hand before lifting his head to meet Alec’s gaze.

“I –…” Alec doesn’t know what to say. He’s still on edge, but the fiery anger that made him shoot at Jace has burnt out completely, replaced with regret. He opens his mouth to try again, try to say something, _anything,_ to try and fix this mess, but a voice calls out to him.

“My King!” Raj, head of the king’s personal guard, is jogging toward them, with two other men, dressed in the same uniform, following behind in suit. Alec can only imagine what he and Jace must look like, blood spattered across their shirts, faces and hands bruised. The concern on their faces tells him it doesn’t look good.

“Your Majesty, are you alright?” Andrew asks, hand reaching for his sword, eyes moving to Jace in suspicion.

“Gentleman,” he greets, trying to keep his voice level, standing upright and straightening his back, as a king should do. “Everything is alright, we —.”

“You’re bleeding, sir,” Raj notices, whipping out his sword and pointing it at Jace, taking bold steps forward until the tip of the sword is under the blonde’s chin. “Who dares raise a hand against the King?”

Jace, looking bewildered, raises his hands in surrender.

“Raj, he is my brother,” Alexander tries to reason with the man, but he fears the guard’s fierce loyalty to the throne, to the Clave, will make it difficult. “He would never hurt me.”

“Sir, your face is bruised, and your own blood stains your garments,” the third guard, Jordan, comments, sword in hand. He walks slowly behind Jace, and soon all three men are surrounding his best friend.

The thought of what is about to happen makes him sick, but for all his new power, he’s not sure he can stop it.

“He has injured you, My King,” Raj continues, pressing the blade a little closer to Jace’s skin, making him hiss. “According to the law, this man is now a traitor.”

…

Jace wants to laugh, because this whole situation is ludicrous, and he would if it weren’t for the sword pressed against his throat.

“You can’t be serious,” he grunts, as his hands are pulled behind him. He hears the sound of shackles, feels the cold metal rub against his wrists, binding them together, and his stomach drops.

“Gentleman, gentleman, is all of this necessary?” Jace hears Alec ask, looking slightly panicked, and Jace is wondering why he’s not putting a stop to this, ordering them to release him.

“Your Majesty, anyone found threatening the King in any way must immediately be put on trial for his crimes.”

“But… but we were just sparring, this is all a misunderstanding,” Alec stammers.

“Sir, you shot your arrow at him,” Raj turns to Alec, sliding his sword back onto his hip. “You were defending yourself against him, were you not?”

_Oh no._

Jace knows now that he is royally screwed. He knows Alec can’t tell them why he released that arrow, he can’t admit the truth, trade one illegal act for another, and he’s never been a good liar. He is King now; he must protect himself.

Jace must protect him, too.

Alec looks at Jace as if he knows what he’s about to do. He sputters, searching for an adequate response, a half-truth, but he’s not fast enough, and Jace has made his decision.

“He was,” Jace blurts out, before fear can make him change his mind. “I attacked him, and he defended himself. I was angry.”

“You can explain yourself to the Clave,” Raj answers with disgust, stepping into his personal space. “If you value your life, you will come quietly.”

“As you wish,” Jace replies, already accepting his fate. He has to do this, and maybe it’s better this way; if he is cast out, jailed, he won’t be a temptation to Alec, or a threat to the throne. He will stay locked away for a crime he didn’t commit, all the while paying for a crime he can’t admit to – being in love with his brother, the King.

Raj lifts a brow like he hadn’t expect Jace to surrender so easily, but he doesn’t question it. He juts his chin out, silently ordering the guards to take Jace away, and they obey. Raj stays behind with Alexander, speaking to him in a hushed tone of concern, while Jace is shoved forward with a jolt as the guards roughly lead him toward the castle. After a few steps, he chances a glance back to see Alec once more, to search for his eyes and tell him he’ll be okay, but when his eyes find Alec’s, they are filled with horrid sorrow, and confusion, and fear – none of this obvious to anyone else but Jace, Jace who knows Alec better than he knows himself.

 _I love you,_ he mouths to him. It’s a risk, but he can’t help himself; he has to let his brother know how he feels. He knows Alec reads the words on his lips, because his eyes widen, brows shooting straight up for a moment before his face crumbles and he looks away, fiercely keeps his head down.

The reaction comes as a surprise to Jace, although he’s not exactly sure what he expected. He keeps his head bowed as he is led further and further away from the person he loves most, cursing his fate. He knew this day would come, he knew his feelings would one day get him in trouble, he simply hadn’t expected it to happen this way.

He finds himself confined to a cell in the castle’s dungeon for the night, the guards refusing to ruin the king’s ball with a trial so late. They don’t tell him anything, but Jace is aware of the law – he’ll be put on trial the next day, in front of the Clave.

He wonders if the king will join them, unsure of whether or not he’d prefer Alexander be present. It would break his heart to see him there, but his absence would break his spirit.

“Jace?”

Jace bolts upright from the cot he lays on, wondering if he’s imagining things. He stands, walking toward the cell’s door. He hears the clicking of heels running down the hall and knows exactly who is calling him.

“Jace!” Isabelle chokes, eyes brimming with tears as she stands with a hand around the metal bars of the cell. “Oh, Jace, what happened? Are you okay? Mother is beside herself; Alec is… he’s a shell. He’s keeping on a brave face for everyone, but I can see through it. Max has no clue what’s going on, and I… I –”

She looks about ready to sob, and it hurts him to know it’s his fault, that his family is suffering because of him.

“Izzy, I’m alright, breathe,” he tries to stay calm, in order to calm his dear sister, then something dawns on him. “Wait, how did you get down here? They told me I wouldn’t be allowed visitors.”

“I pulled rank; told them I’d report them for denying the kingdom’s sole princess anything she desires.”

Jace chuckles despite himself. His sister always knew how to get what she wanted – perks of being the only Lightwood daughter.

“I don’t want you to get in any trouble because of me,” he says, tone more serious now.

Isabelle shakes her head, “I’ll be fine, I’m just worried about you. Alec walked away when I asked him what happened…” Her voice drops to a whisper, “Did you guys get caught?”

“What? No! No, it’s… it’s not like that.” Jace sighs, looking at his sister. “We were fighting about it, though, about…us, and I… I provoked him. He shot an arrow at me.”

Isabelle gasps, hand flying to her mouth. She looks at his ear, and he can tell she notices the wound there, no longer bleeding but still stinging him.

“Is that why Alec’s face is bruised? He told us he tripped over some branches in the woods. I didn’t believe him.”

“Yeah, it was me,” Jace replies, voice filled with shame, “We weren’t thinking straight, the stress of the ceremony, his crowning, our… our _feelings,_ it all went to our heads, things got out of control, and _–.”_

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me, brother,” Isabelle interrupts gently. She finds his hand on the bars of the cell and covers it with her own, “All I know is that you’re innocent, and we’ll prove it. Alec won’t let you rot in the dungeons. You mean too much to him.”

She says this all with such conviction, such hope in her eyes that Jace almost believes it. He nods and feels a tear fall down his cheek. Later, after she leaves to go back to the banquet hall, Jace finds himself on his knees in his cell, praying to the angels that she’s right.


	4. Vultures [The Confession]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _I surrender to the power of your pencil  
>  My adventure, do your love, it's gonna end soon  
> So remember, send the mob into the temple  
> My protector, perceives per say_
> 
> _I never meant to love you  
>  I never meant to make you feel the same as me  
> I never meant to love you  
> (And now that I know, knew that I knew better)  
> But you should know, know that I will be ready  
> When you call your vultures  
> _  
> \- Lido

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT. This chapter is a bit longer and I hope it's worth it. Tell me what you think! Thank you so much for reading! Hope everyone is staying safe out there.  
> XOXO, Edwina <3

Alexander dreams that the Clave condemns Jace to death by hanging.

In his mind, he sees his brother standing on a wooden platform, on the grounds in front of the castle, for the entire kingdom to witness. Jace is barefoot, hands tied behind his back, with a rope around his neck, his fate practically sealed, but there is no fear in his eyes. A faceless Clave member stands at his side and lists his crimes aloud, calls him a traitor, pronounces him guilty of attacking the king, and proclaims that his punishment must be death. Alexander stands in the crowd, dressed in his royal garb, but no one pays him any mind. The people around him shout in agreement, yelling at the clave member to pull the lever, and still, Jace looks unafraid, his eyes locked on his brother. Alec is glued in place, terrified of what is about to happen and feels powerless to stop it. He opens his mouth to tell them to stop, to order them all to cease this nonsense, to get Jace down at once, that this is all a misunderstanding. He tries to shout that Jace is innocent, but it’s as if he is mute; his shouts go unheard.

Suddenly, the crowd disappears, and it is just Jace on the platform, noose still loose around his neck, and Alec on the ground in front of him, the sun shining brightly in the sky above them. He stares at his brother, pleads silently with his eyes for him to come down, to fight this, to tell the Clave he’s done nothing wrong, but then a voice he doesn’t recognize rings out in the silence around them and asks, “Any final words?”

Jace’s eyes don’t waver even once, and Alec is almost certain that he smiles before replying with three very dangerous words.

“I love him,” he answers, loudly, confidently, and Alexander is overwhelmed with dread. _No, no, no,_ he thinks, shaking his head vigorously, looking around for wherever the voice came from, to tell them that Jace is wrong, that he doesn’t know what he’s saying, that he’s sick, anything, _anything_ to get the noose off his neck, to give them a little more time, but he knows it’s too late. The sky darkens then, and the moon casts a spotlight on the platform where Jace still stands, still staring at Alec. This time, he does smile, bright and full and beautiful, and Alec’s heart swells, right before the panel underneath his feet drops away. The rope straightens with the weight of Jace’s body, a scream tears through Alec’s throat, and everything goes black.

Alexander startles awake, his harsh breathing the only sound in the large room. He’s in his bed, sheets pooled low on his waist, his skin slick with sweat, and his heart is beating so hard that he swears his ribs are sore. He’s hyperventilating, and he inhales deeply, closing his eyes again and letting the air out slowly through pursed lips in an attempt to slow the rising and falling of his chest.

 _It was only a dream,_ he tells himself, inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly a few more times.

Darkness surrounds him when he opens his eyes once more, and there’s no trace of sunlight behind the thick curtains in front of the balcony doors across from his bed. It must not even be five in the morning, he thinks, throwing his legs over the side of the bed and standing. He stretches, then pads over to the sitting area of the room and grabs his robe from behind one of the chairs. The expensive silk feels cool as he slides it over his arms and onto his bare back, and his flushed skin is grateful for it. He leaves his sleeping pants on and ties the robe tightly at the waist, then puts on a pair of slippers that he keeps by his door.

He’s barely awake, still coming out of the nightmare, and he’s not even sure where’s he’s headed as he opens the heavy doors that lead to an empty hallway. He blinks a few times, allows his eyes a few seconds to adjust to the darkness, and lets his feet lead him across the marble floor of the castle, careful to keep himself quiet as to not wake his family or worry the guards that he knows are close by, as always, doing their duty and keeping their king safe from harm, even in the middle of the night. 

The Lightwood family wing is located on the highest floor of the castle, down the hall from the King’s chambers. He passes by their doors one by one on his way to the grand staircase: first the former Queen’s room, then Prince Maxwell’s, then Princess Isabell’s. The doors across the hall from hers lead to Jace’s room, and Alexander freezes in front of it, feels his heart stutter in his chest as his nightmare comes back to life behind his eyes. He’s almost dizzy with fear, with uncertainty and heartache and _guilt,_ but he regains the strength in his legs, makes a decision, and _runs._

It’s never a good idea to run through the castle at night, especially as the king, but Alexander can’t find it in himself to care at the moment. There’s only one thing on his mind, one _person,_ and it’s all that matters. If the guards ask him why he’s running, he’ll tell them to mind their business. If he wakes anyone up in his effort to get to the dungeon, he’ll apologize in the morning. Right now, he needs to see Jace. 

“Where is he?” Alec asks the guard standing at the dungeon’s entrance. He’s out of breath from running down multiple stairs to the lower level of the castle. The staircase leading down to it is hidden away and difficult to find, it’s location only privy to those who need to know it, including the royal family and the royal guard. The lighting is dim, the wooden floors creak, and the halls are narrow, making it feel altogether uninviting to any strangers who may find themselves lost. The lower level is still very much a part of the castle, but a part that is no fun to advertise, so it is rare that anyone finds themselves down here on accident. 

The guard, Simon, is one of the newer members of the royal security team, and he jumps as if he’s just been woken up, eyes wide with confusion. He squints at first, then gasps upon realizing who is speaking to him.

“King Alexander,” he addresses Alec, bowing slightly, “My apologies, I didn’t recognize you in…” He looks at Alec’s current state of dress, then seems to reconsider commenting on it.

_Smart man._

“Who are you asking for?”

“My brother, Jace,” Alexander replies, straightening his back, “The guards are holding him in the dungeon, are they not?”

“Yes, Your Majesty, but –.”

“Take me to him,” Alec demands.

The young guard still looks confused, his eyes darting left and right, like he’s looking for another guard to bail him out. Alec almost feels bad for him; he knows it is unusual, unlawful even, for a prisoner to see the King; they are considered unclean, unworthy, _unfit_ to be in the presence of such royalty. A king asking for access to a prisoner – in the middle of the night, no less – it’s almost unheard of. The guard simply doesn’t want to get into trouble. Lucky for Alexander, he has a lot of sway.

“I am your King, am I not?” he asks slowly, voice low and menacing.

“Uh, y-yes, yes your Majesty, of course,” Simon stutters.

“Well then, when your King asks something of you, you must do it. Is that not your duty as one the royal guards?”

“Yes, sir. Of course, I just –.”

“Can you unlock the door to the dungeon? Do you have the key?”

“I do, Your Majesty, it’s uh…” Simon fumbles with his belt, and pulls out a large iron key, “Right here!”

“Then we shouldn’t have a problem. You can, in fact, take me to my brother.”

“Of course, my King,” Simon bows again, before turning toward the door to unlock it.

…

Jace is almost certain that he’s hallucinating when he opens his eyes and sees Alexander standing on the other side of bars of his prison cell.

He blinks, pushing himself up off of the cot in the corner of the small room and wiping the sleep from his face with one hand. When he stands, he discovers that he’s shaking.

“Jace?” Alec asks, and his voice is a cautious whisper, like he’s afraid of how Jace will respond to seeing him. He stands a foot away from the bars, arms at his sides, glancing down the hall every so often, as if someone else might be there, watching.

“You shouldn’t be here,” Jace says, taking a slow step toward his brother, “It’s not safe.”

Alec huffs, “I’m the King. I’ll be fine,” he relaxes slightly, “I’m more worried about you.”

“You shouldn’t even be thinking about me,” Jace exhales, taking another step closer, “They’ll exile me, at best. You have a kingdom to rule. It will be better for everyone if you just…forget about me.”

Alexander’s eyes widen before they narrow, brows knitted together in frustration. “So _now_ you care that I have a kingdom to rule?”

“Alec, what are –?”

“No, you don’t get to suddenly care about my royal duties,” Alec snaps, “Not after what you said to me.”

Jace opens his mouth to retort, but he closes it again when he remembers. He knows exactly what Alec is talking about, even though he never said those three words out loud.

“I didn’t know if I would ever see you again after your guards took me away,” Jace admits quietly, head bowed. “I had to tell you. Even if nothing can come of it, you had to know.”

“You thought I didn’t know?” Alec says, and his voice is so small, Jace almost doesn’t hear him. “Jace, I’ve _always_ known.”

Jace looks up then, frowning. “You… then why did you look so surprised?”

“Because I can’t believe you decided that then, that _now_ is the right time to hash this out!”

“There was never a good time –.”

“The day I am crowned as your King is probably the _worst_ time, Jace! What did you think would happen? How did you think this would play out! I can’t –.” Alec pauses then, pinching the bridge of his nose and exhaling slowly. He starts pacing, back and forth, a nervous habit of his. Jace always found it endearing, how c _oncerned_ his brother was with everything and everyone, how much he genuinely _cared._ Jace always knew Alec would make a wonderful king; he was a natural born leader, brave and fair and, of course, beautiful.

“I needed you to know,” Jace repeats, “I didn’t care what happened to me.”

“Goddamn martyr,” Alec grumbles, turning suddenly to face Jace, “ _I_ care what happens to you! How could you be so stupid? You let them think you attacked me! The Clave will not be merciful!”

“I know, I know, I just didn’t want you to have to admit –!”

“What, admit what we were fighting about? Expose us to the guards? Get us both arrested? I would never be so irresponsible!”

Alright, now Jace is annoyed. He knows that Alec is angry because he cares, but pretending like Jace had any other choice? Like he did this out of pure stupidity? That isn’t fair.

“What would you have said then, huh? When they asked why you attacked me?” Jace presses, stepping up to the cell bars, “You’ve always been a shit liar.”

“I would have come up with something. Something that wouldn’t get you sent to the _dungeon!”_ Alec seethes, stepping closer.

“You hesitated,” Jace accuses.

“I just needed a minute to think,” Alec bites back, “I didn’t think you’d throw yourself to the wolves so willingly!”

“Maybe I deserve it!” Jace bellows, and the bewildered look that appears on Alec’s face, like he’d just be slapped, it almost breaks Jace’s resolve, but he powers through. “I may not be guilty of the crimes against me, but I _am_ guilty.”

“No,” Alec shakes his head, takes a step back, “Don’t say that, this isn’t your fault… we were young, we didn’t realize…you can’t just _accept_ this. You have to fight this!”

“To what end?” Jace asks, stepping closer still and wrapping a hand around one of the rusted metal bars. It’s true that he’s accepted his fate. He will accept the consequence of a crime he didn’t commit, because in the end, he deserves it. He’ll only ever be a distraction to his brother, and a king cannot afford such a distraction. “I knew how I felt, I knew you would be king, but I let myself feel, let myself hope that maybe, somehow, we… I shouldn’t have let it go on.”

“But nothing _happened!_ ” Alec pleads with him, stepping closer again. His hands reach for Jace before pulling back, just as quickly. Jace pretends not to notice. “You can’t let them condemn you when you are innocent!”

“But I’m not,” Jace insists. He needs his brother to understand, but they’ve both been stubborn their whole lives. “If I stay, something _will_ happen.”

“So, you _want_ them to exile you,” Alec deadpans, brows furrowed. “Did you always plan on leaving?”

“What? No, of course not, I just…I’ve had some time to think in here,” Jace sighs, thinking of how it’s suddenly become so clear how toxic he is for Alexander. “I never belonged here anyway. Our mother didn’t have to adopt me, to raise me as her own, but she did. For that, I will always be grateful. But if I stay close to you, someone will see, or hear, or assume –.”

“Let them assume,” Alec retorts, “It will be their word against the King’s.”

“But there will be rumors, and whispers, or worse!” Jace argues, “I refuse to be the reason you lose the throne!”

“I don’t give a damn about the _throne!”_ Alec curses, and in one swift movement, he’s right in front of Jace, their faces almost touching. His arms stretch through the spaces between the cell bars as he crowds Jace, as much as he can like this, grabbing onto his shoulders and shaking him once, hard, before sliding his hands up to caress both sides of his neck. Alec closes his eyes for a moment, breathes, and when he opens them again, all the rage has disappeared completely, replaced by something that makes Jace chest constrict, and his brother’s next words come out choked.

“Can’t you see?” Alec asks gently, pressing closer still against the cold metal bars of his cell, the only thing separating their bodies now, “The throne means nothing to me if I can’t have _you._ ”

Jace isn’t sure how he’s supposed to react. He stares at Alec, incredulous. _Is he saying…?_ He realizes he’s holding his breath, so he exhales, making his hands into fists to resist the urge to touch. That would _not_ help things right now.

“What do you mean?” he asks, because he truly isn’t sure. He and Alec have never been very good with words.

Alec sighs and steps away, and Jace misses his touch immediately.

“All of this,” Alec motions around them, “It doesn’t mean a thing if I can’t share it with the people I love most.”

Jace’s breath hitches as Alec turns to look him in the eyes again. He finds himself gripping the metal bars again, holding on tightly against the weight of hope flowing through him.

“The Kingdom needs you,” Jace tries, in an attempt to remind Alexander of his duty, his loyalty, his promises to his people.

“The Kingdom only needs a just ruler,” Alec says, “They don’t need _me._ ”

“Alec, you can’t just –.”

“But I need you,” Alec interrupts, gazing at Jace as if he’s the most precious being in the world. He steps forward again, wraps his hands around Jace’s, still gripping the cell bars, his hazel eyes meeting Jace’s blue-browns head on.

“Alec?”

“I love you, too, Jace,” he confesses, and Jace can’t help himself any longer. He slides his arms through the bars, gripping Alec’s waist and pulling him as close as possible, then he surges forward and kisses him.

Jace has dreamt of kissing Alec since the moment he realized he was in love with him, sometime back when they were teenagers, and while he never imagined it would happen like this, it is somehow still as amazing as he expected it would be. Alec’s lips are soft, and warm, and _perfect_ against his own, like their mouths were made for each other, and he kisses him again and again, feels Alec kiss him back, and while they don’t move very much, they are both out of breath when Alec steps back with a jolt. He touches his lips with the tips of his fingers, looking at Jace with wild eyes.

“Alec, I’m sorry,” Jace breathes, hoping to the angels that he didn’t ruin everything.

Alexander’s face is unreadable, but he’s shaking his head, and stepping further away, and Jace wants to cry, to run to him, assure him that they’ll be okay, but he’s stuck in a cage, and he’d be lying anyway.

“I have to go,” Alec croaks, like he’s choking on a sob, and Jace feels his heart break.

“Alec, wait!” He yells, but it’s too late. Alec is gone, his quick footsteps disappearing before a heavy door slams shut, and Jace is alone once again.


	5. Old Wounds [The Trial]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _They say don't open old wounds  
>  But this is still brand new  
> And I've got nothing left to lose besides you  
> And I've already lost you once  
> What more could you do?  
> They say don't open old wounds  
> But I want to_
> 
> _I think I could love you 'til the day that you die  
>  If you let me love you when the timing is right  
> And if they said I had to, I swear I'd wait my whole life  
> I think I could love you 'til the day that you die_
> 
> \- Pvris

It’s Isabelle that finds Alexander. He’s grateful for that; he’s not sure how he’d explain his current state to anyone else. Luckily, Isabelle already knows.

His sister finds him in the throne room. It’s a large, open space that no one really uses, and the only room in the entire castle outside of his personal living quarters that Alec can claim as his own ever since becoming king. No one will interrupt him here, not without explicit permission. Isabelle, however, is always an exception.

Alec sits hunched over on the steps leading up to his throne, holding his crown in his hands. He examines it closely, the solid gold weight of it, the jewels that adorn it, the way it sparkles as the sun shines through the tall windows along the walls. He knows the crown itself is worth a fortune, but it’s true value lies in the men crowned before him, and the kings that will succeed him. Alexander wonders what he did to deserve it besides being his mother’s first-born son.

“Heavy is the head that wears the crown,” Isabelle sings, her voice echoing in the empty chamber. He can see her standing at the bottom of the steps in his peripheral vision, leaning against one of the white stone columns with her arms crossed, waiting.

She will leave if he asks her to, Alexander knows that. She never invades his privacy without permission. He’s grateful for that, too.

“I never knew how heavy until I put it on,” Alec replies, not looking up.

“You are strong enough to bear the weight,” Isabelle assures, walking up the steps until she’s close enough to sit down next to him. “You were born to be King, brother.”

“If my crown costs him his life, I’m not sure I want to wear it,” Alec discloses quietly. He doesn’t have to fear judgement or misinterpretation with Izzy; she can read him like an open book, and he trusts her to understand him. The only person in the world who knows him better than she does is on his way to the Court of the Clave to stand trial for a crime he didn’t commit.

“They wouldn’t do that,” Isabelle says, placing a comforting hand on his arm, “They know he’s your brother, they may show mercy.”

Alec chuckles humorlessly, “The Clave? Merciful? I highly doubt that.”

“Well, they can’t very well sentence him to death,” Isabelle argues, but when Alec doesn’t answer, she grows visibly weary. “Alec? They can’t kill him, can they?”

“I don’t know!” Alec shouts, slamming the crown down onto the marble steps with a clang and burying his face in his hands. “I don’t know,” he repeats, voice trembling.

He hears Izzy shuffle closer to him, wrapping a delicate arm around his back and rubbing soothing circles there. He knows she is struggling, too, and yet, she takes the time to comfort him, her older brother, her _King_ , putting his needs before her own. He doesn’t deserve her.

“I didn’t mean to yell at you, Izzy,” he apologizes, face still covered by his hands.

“It’s okay,” she hushes, “I’m worried about him, too.”

“I…I love him,” he admits, his voice barely a whisper, but Isabelle hears him and squeezes him into a side hug.

“I know you do, brother,” she confirms.

“I kissed him,” he confesses, digging his nails into his palms at the memory. It was only a couple hours ago, and he can still feel the ghost of his brother’s lips on his own.

“Oh, Alec,” Isabelle says, moving closer and lifting his face from his hands. She cradles his cheek in her palm and kisses his temple. When she pulls away, her eyes hold no questions as she gazes at him, no judgment or shock, only acceptance. In the safety of her arms, on the steps of his throne room, Alexander finally allows himself to weep. He turns his body and falls into his sister’s arms and she welcomes him completely, pulling his face to her chest and holding him tightly. He sobs, loud and ugly, his tears soaking through the fabric of Isabelle’s dress, but she just holds him close, whispering words of comfort every so often into his ear. He’s not sure how long they sit together that way, but when Alec sits up, Isabelle wipes his tears away with a handkerchief and places his crown gently back on his head.

“Are you coming to the trial?” she asks tentatively.

“Do I have a choice?”

“Of course, you do,” she nods, “The law states that if it is the King’s own relative on trial, it is only suggested that he attend, but not mandatory.”

“How did I not know this?” Alec wonders aloud. He didn’t realize he could avoid seeing his brother sentenced to whatever the Clave saw fit. It’s almost a relief to have a choice, except he knows that he won’t change his mind.

“You never paid much attention in Clave Law,” Isabelle teases, “You hated that class.”

“I paid enough attention to graduate, and now I’m the King.”

“Don’t rub it in.”

“Trust me, I’m not,” Alec says sadly, shaking his head. “None of this would be happening if I didn’t accept the throne.”

“It’s not your fault,” Isabelle reminds him. “None of this is your fault.”

“Still,” Alec sighs, “I have to be there.” He turns his head to look at his sister. “I can’t let him face this alone.”

“Then I’m coming, too,” Izzy nods.

“They’ll never let you in. It’s a private trial, only mom and I can go.”

“I’ll hide up in the stands, they won’t even know I’m there. But you will.”

Alec smiles at his sister. She is truly more than he deserves. He stands, holding out a hand to Isabelle to help her up, and they walk out of the throne room arm in arm. Alexander makes a vow in that moment: Should he ever lose the crown, the Shadowhunter Kingdom will be hers.

…

The Court of the Clave looks bigger than Jace remembers from his position in the center of the room, chained and on his knees, his wrists shackled in front of him. He kneels before the entire Clave, all of them present to sentence him for his alleged crime. Most of their faces are neutral, looking at him like he’s just another petty criminal, while others look at him with disgust, like they’d spit on him if it weren’t beneath them. A week before, they would address him with respect, the King’s brother, the former Queen’s adopted son. Now, it’s as if they can’t wait to get rid of him.

Jace always knew he was different. He was just a baby when Maryse took him in, left at the gates of the Kingdom, helpless and wailing, but it didn’t take him long to notice that he wasn’t a _true_ royal like his siblings; he would never be a _true_ Lightwood. Most of his comrades respected him out of fear; he was technically the Queen’s son, the Prince’s brother, a _prince himself_ , and therefore protected. Jace wasn’t naïve, however. He heard the whispers in the halls of The Institute, the rumors that would spread around the castle every so often before they were squashed by one of the royals. People didn’t trust him, questioned his loyalty, his bloodline. The Lightwoods always saw him as one of their own, but the people of the Shadowhunter Kingdom never truly got on board.

Jace doesn’t care, though, doesn’t give a damn what any members of the Clave think, or what the Kingdom thinks of him; his eyes search for only one face, but he doesn’t see it.

_Alec, where are you?_

A gavel sounds, ringing loudly in the hollow room, signaling that the trial has begun, and Jace hangs his head. His brother isn’t coming. He ruined everything.

“Let us begin,” Imogen Herondale announces, quieting everyone down. The hall is empty besides the Clave members. There are stands high above, where spectators can sit and bear witness to a criminal’s sentencing, but Jace’s case is a closed trial, he knows that much. The whole kingdom would be here if it were allowed, to see the great Jace Wayland on his knees, begging for mercy and confirming their suspicions. Jace almost wishes they were here so he could prove them all wrong.

He chances a glance upward and sees a flash of raven hair near the corner of the stands.

 _Isabelle?_ If his sister is here, then –

The doors to the Court swing open then, and all the members of the Clave scramble to stand in unison. Jace’s heart almost bursts with relief when Alec marches in, head held high. His presence alone causes the mood in the room to shift completely.

“Your Majesty,” Imogen bows, her voice wavering slightly. “We were not expecting you today.”

“My brother is on trial and you didn’t expect me to be here?” Alexander retorts, striding past the Clave members without even a glance at any of them. He walks up the steps to where a throne awaits him, behind the row of Clave members. When he sits down, he’s facing Jace head on, but his gaze lands on Imogen again.

“Carry on, then,” he orders, and the woman nods, motioning to everyone to sit back down.

The trial begins with Imogen announcing Jace’s accusation, and asking him how he pleads. His plea of “not guilty” causes a bit of a disturbance, some of the members voicing their disapproval, and Imogen must bang her gavel at least five times to get everyone to settle down. Jace smirks at this, but it disappears when he notices Alec watching him. His face is unreadable, and for the first time in a while, Jace can’t tell what he’s thinking. It makes him feel uneasy.

“How can you say you are not guilty of these crimes, when you admitted to King Alexander’s guards that you were angry!” Victor Aldertree accuses, “You attacked him!”

“It was a misunderstanding,” Jace insists, then he looks at his brother again. “Alexander knows I would never hurt him. He said so himself.”

Alec only raises his chin at him, a vague acknowledgment. He neither confirms nor denies that Jace’s words are true, and his silence starts to make Jace nervous.

_What is he doing?_

The calve members question Jace one by one, bringing up the evidence against him, from what the guards saw, to the injury to his ear from the arrow, but every time, Jace still pleads not guilty. Alexander sits on his throne, saying nothing, and Jace is starting to get frustrated, if he’s honest with himself. He never attacked the crown, never tried to hurt his brother, never meant to, at least. He knows that there’s only so much Alec can do in his position, especially if he wants to appear as if he’s on the Clave’s side, but he’s done absolutely _nothing._ After their conversation in the dungeon, after their _kiss,_ Jace expected more than this.

“Mr. Wayland, I only have one question for you,” Lydia Branwell declares. She is the youngest member of the Clave, a position she earned after graduating early from The Institute, studying Clave Law, and receiving the highest score on the exam. Jace never particularly liked her, but he will be surprised if she agrees to a death sentence. She always seemed more levelheaded than the others.

Jace raises his eyes to her, awaiting her query.

“Where do your loyalties lie?”

It’s a fair question, and Jace knows the right answer, but he’s tired of answering to the Clave. He’s tired of Alec’s cowardice, watching him but saying nothing to defend him. Jace needs him to _do something,_ so he’ll just have to force the King’s hand.

Jace’s knees are sore by now, but he straightens back, the chains on his wrists rattling as he moves. He takes a deep breath before speaking.

“I am loyal to the King,” Jace answers honestly, staring at his brother, “I love him.”

Alexander blinks once, twice, then slowly sits up in his chair, eyes widening, almost as if he can sense where Jace is going with his.

“We all love and serve His Majesty, yes, but –.” Lydia continues, but Jace cuts her off.

“No, no, you don’t understand,” he shakes his head, his eyes finding Alec’s again, “I love him.”

“Mr. Wayland –.”

“I _love_ him!” He shouts, and Alec stands now, narrowing his eyes at him in warning, but Jace has already make his choice. He’s losing this battle; he might as well tell the truth.

“I’m in love with him. I’m in love with Alec.”

This causes an absolute uproar. Some Clave members are visibly shocked, while others stand and point accusingly at Jace, as if they had always suspected him. They yell at him, call him names, and demand his immediate execution. Imogen tries to regain order, but no matter how many times she bangs her gavel, the shouting doesn’t stop. They want him dead for this.

Love will be the death of him.

Then finally, _finally,_ Alec speaks.

“Enough!” He roars, and there is silence instantly. Above his head, Jace hears Isabelle gasp from the stands. All eyes are on the King as he marches down the steps, walking swiftly toward Jace, who is still kneeling on the ground.

Alec towers over him with fire in his eyes. He’s as beautiful as ever in his royal garb, an impressive display of unrelenting power. He looks furious, and it’s so convincing that Jace actually trembles when his brother reaches for his sword, unsheathing the blade and pointing it at his throat in one smooth motion. The blade is cool against his flushed skin, the flat side of it sitting under his chin. But his brother can’t _actually_ be mad at him for this, _can he?_ What did he expect him to do? The Clave would have found any excuse to put him to death. At least now, he can die with a clear conscience. He’s knows it’s selfish, but he’s never been perfect, and he’s tired of hiding.

They’re in love, after all. That has to mean _something_ , despite this unfathomable mess. That’s what Jace hopes, at least, which is why his brother’s next words catch him completely off guard.

“If he is to be put to death,” Alec growls, “I’ll do it myself.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT. I had the first half of this chapter written WEEKS ago, but finally figured out how I wanted the trial to go. HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE ANGST! Comments are always appreciated. Hope you are all doing okay <3  
> xoxo -Edwina


	6. Loyal [The Punishment]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HERE IT IS, THE FINAL CHAPTER. I've absolutely loved writing this, and I hope you've enjoyed reading it. PLEASE let me know if you fall in love with any of the songs on the playlist!  
> [[Listen here.]](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/28nFtCQvutgkboiKpG3Edp?si=flX5gyIpSb-GPFcuPKvi6w)  
> Comments are my favorite thing, so leave as many as you'd like! <3   
> See you in my next jalec fic,   
> xoxo, Edwina

Alexander wonders, briefly, how the _hell_ they ended up here.

Jace kneels before him, shackled, blond hair a mess, scowl on his face, while Alec’s sword sits pressed against his neck. His brother looks shocked and angry, which is fair, because Alexander feels the same way. He knew, somewhere in the back of his mind, that coming to Jace’s trial would only make things worse. He had a feeling that Jace would act out, say or do something foolish, and he’d done just that, admitting his feelings in front of the Clave like an imbecile. Alec had kept silent for the entire trial, unsure if he could trust himself to make commentary while his emotions were in such turmoil. He sat and watched as his brother sat on his knees, accused and mocked and questioned by the Clave members who already assumed his guilt. It tore his heart in two.

The problem was not that he couldn’t choose between his brother and Shadowhunter Kingdom, it’s that his choice was much too easy to make: Jace came first. What kind of king values one life over the laws and customs of an entire kingdom? He never truly believed that he’d been worthy of the throne, and he’s afraid that if he’d said a word during the trial, it would be obvious where his _own_ loyalties lie, and he’d damn them both on the spot. His silence may have been cruel, but Jace’s outburst was selfish and reckless, and Alec isn’t about to watch his brother die because of their combined stupidity. They’d confessed their love for each other, they’d _kissed_ each other. They were playing with fire before, but they were almost certainly doomed to burn now. The only reason he’s still king is because the Clave thinks he’s as disgusted by Jace as they are, but he can’t keep up this ruse forever. Maybe he shouldn’t have come, after all.

He should have known they would end up here.

“You _idiot,_ ” Alec grits out, voice low so that only Jace can hear him, “What were you thinking!?”

Jace merely shrugs, “Finally got your attention, I see. Care about me now?”

Alec’s eyes widen in fury and surprise, and he takes a deep breath to keep himself from shaking. Jace is being reckless with his life for _attention,_ of all things, and Alexander is livid.

“For _fucks_ sake, Jace,” Alec growls, “How could you be so stupid?” All Alec can see is the Jace in his dream, standing proudly with a noose around his neck, confessing his love with a smile on his face before his body drops and his neck snaps and the world goes black. The thought alone makes him nauseous. Alec swallows. “I have half the mind to end you right here, just to prove a point.”

“You won’t do it,” Jace taunts. Alec swears he’s testing him, _daring_ him to do it, and this is really _not the time_. The smirk on Jace’s face screams ‘ _Fuck you’,_ and Alec might be turned on by this blatant display of defiance if he wasn’t the one holding the sword to his brother’s throat.

“Shut up!” Alec spits, forcing Jace’s chin up a little higher with the sharp tip of the blade. He lifts his own chin in tandem, narrowing his eyes at the man in front of him, trying to read him.

 _What is he doing?_

“My King,” someone calls from behind him, stepping slowly into his field of vision. It’s Aldertree, one of the Clave members who voted to put Jace to death. Alec’s never liked him; he follows the law almost ruthlessly, not caring who gets hurt in the process. He’d probably offer up his own family if they dared break a rule.

Aldertree stays a cautious distance away, then looks sideways at Alexander before continuing. “Perhaps one of your guards can dispose of the traitor? You have much more important duties to –.”

“No,” Alec interrupts, never taking his eyes off Jace, who’s still wearing that _fucking smirk._ “I will deal with him.”

“Are you certain, Your Majesty?”

“Are you questioning your King?” Alexander barks, cold eyes flickering to Aldertree. The Clave member isn’t an idiot; he knows something is going on, but he can’t prove a thing, so he also knows when to let things go.

“No, sir, of course not,” Aldertree says quietly, looking down, “My apologies.”

Alexander hums, turning his attention back to Jace. “Leave us,” he commands, and Aldertree nods. At least, as a slave to the law, the man is excellent at following orders.

“Yes, Your Majesty. I’ll inform the others.”

There’s shuffling and murmurs behind him, footsteps echoing in the grand hall as the Clave members leave their seats and exit the room as requested. Alec hears a door open as everyone makes their way out, their whispers fading until the loud thud of the chamber doors signals that they’re finally alone.

Well, them and their sister.

Alexander immediately whips his sword away, pulling it toward his hip to sheath it again. Jace hisses and Alec stills. The blade apparently nicked the skin on the underside of his jaw.

Alec would feel bad, but part of him thinks he deserves it.

“How could you do this?” He spits, pacing now with his hands clasped behind his back. It’s what he does every time he’s having an important discussion; pacing helps him think. He’s not sure how much it will help here, though.

“I told you to forget about me.”

Alec pauses, looking down at his brother again. “Forget about you? After everything you said to me?”

“I should have kept my feelings to myself,” Jace mutters angrily, “I knew better than to drag you into this.”

“You didn’t drag me into anything! I am older than you, don’t you _dare_ make decisions for me.”

“Yes, of course, the eldest Lightwood, first in line for the throne, how could I ever forget that, _Your Majesty?_ ” Jace mocks, and Alec wants to hit him, but he restrains himself. He knows his brother is trying to get a rise out of him, piss him off. It’s working, of course, but he won’t stoop so low as to come to blows with a man in chains. 

Instead, he faces Jace, and asks one question: “Do you regret it?”

Jace blinks up at him, like he’s confused, but then his eyes widen in realization and he drops his head again. There’s a pause, where Alec is sure Jace is going to reject him, wish him away, pretend like none of this happened, like it’s all in his head, and his chest aches as he waits for an answer.

“No,” Jace declares, “No, I don’t.”

Alec releases a shuddering breath. The tension in his body eases, but only slightly.

“So, you don’t regret telling me how you feel, and yet, you’ve decided to become a martyr?” he asks, hands splayed wide in question, “To what end? The grave?”

“If I must!” Jace shouts. “If it keeps _you_ safe, then yes!”

“This is insane,” Alec huffs, pinching the bridge of his nose, “You didn’t have to risk your _life –_.”

“You didn’t have to intervene!” Jace interrupts.

Alec glares at him. “Are you serious right now?”

“I’ve accepted my fate.”

“You _are_ serious. Wow, I –.” Alec throws his arms up and laughs, but it’s devoid of any humor. “Why are you being like this?” he presses, “Why are you being so reckless? Why are you so okay with giving up?”

“Because I’m sick of living a lie!” Jace bellows, and he shouldn’t sound so powerful from his position, still shackled and on his knees, but Alec takes a step back anyway. There’s a moment of silence then, and Alec is certain he can hear his own heart beating, way too fast. “They would have found reason to kill me, regardless,” Jace continues. Alec just stares at him, so he keeps talking. “They never trusted me, never accepted me as a royal. They’ve wanted me out of the kingdom since the day your mother took me in –.”

“ _Our_ mother,” Alec corrects, a little desperately. He’s suddenly exhausted. “She’s _our_ mother _._ ”

Jace gives him a pitying look and drops his head with a sigh. “I never belonged here. Not really. You know that.”

“So, what, you’ve handed yourself over to be put to death?”

“You would be better off without me!” Jace shouts, “All I’ve done so far is distract you. When you were a prince, I thought, no one will ever know, but now? You’ll never truly be safe so long as I’m here.”

Alexander can’t take it anymore. How dense can his brother be? Does he truly think he means so little to the Alec that he would actually be better off without him? Did he forget _everything_ from the night before, the confession he made? The truth he bared before running off, terrified of what this all meant? 

“You absolute fool,” Alec whispers, before stepping up to Jace and dropping to his knees. He stares into those beautiful eyes while he removes his crown, placing it on the marble floor, then he unclasps the front of robe, letting the fur garment slide off his shoulders until it pools behind him. He lifts his hands to hold Jace’s face, cradling his head gently when Jace almost slumps into the touch. The blond watches him closely, with a look of wonder on his face, like he can’t believe this is happening.

“What… what are you doing?” Jace questions, shivering as Alec rubs a thumb against his cheek, runs his fingers through his hair.

“Did you forget everything I said yesterday?” Alec speaks softly, worried that at any moment, his worst nightmare will come true and Jace will be ripped away from him. “Do you not understand how much you mean to me?” 

Jace blinks up at him, disbelieving. His eyes are wet. “I’m not worth all this,” he whimpers, and the look on his face makes Alec’s heart ache. “You can’t give up your kingdom for me.”

“I could never choose anything, or anyone, over you,” Alec confesses, feeling a tear run down his cheek. He’s not even sure when he’d started crying.

“Alec, this is madness,” Jace croaks, all the fight pouring out of him. He drops his head, averts his eyes. “You can’t –.”

“ _I can_ ,” Alec corrects.

“I’m not worth it,” Jace repeats, sniffling. “You have to save yourself. I’ve made my choice, and I’m ready to face the consequences.”

“No!” Alec cries, adjusting his grip on his brother’s face, pulling his chin up. “I won’t let them hurt you! Jace, I won’t let them. They won’t lay a finger on you, I swear it – look at me, Jace. Look at me!”

Jace slowly meets his eyes, glazed over with unshed tears. He’s so beautiful, even in chains, and Alec’s swears he loses his breath for half a second. He stares back at him, shaking his head at the mess they’re in.

“Don’t you get it?” Alec starts, bringing their foreheads together. “If… If you died, a part of me would die, too.”

“Alec –.”

“I can’t live without you, Jace. I need you,” he whispers, and he feels Jace shiver under his hands. He pulls back enough to look at him in the eyes, to remind him that he means it. He brushes a thumb against his cheek, feels himself smile slightly. He’s not afraid of the words anymore. “I love you.”

…

“I love you, too,” Jace utters into the small space between their mouths, wanting nothing more than to capture Alec’s plump, pink lips with his own. He moves to do just that, but then, the doors to the court creak open, and Alexander all but jumps to his feet, hand on his sword. Jace’s heart leaps into his throat, assuming the worst: They’ve been caught.

“Calm down, it’s only me,” Isabelle says as she steps into the room, closing the doors behind her and locking them.

Jace breathes a sigh of relief and Alec wipes a hand over his face.

“Goodness, Izzy, I thought you were in the stands!”

“I was!” She responds, her heels clicking loudly, echoing on the marble as she walks toward them. “But then I felt like you two needed to have a private conversation, and I thought of a way I could be more useful.”

“And how is that?”

In lieu of an answer, Isabelle whips out a rusty key from the pocket of her gown.

Alec’s eyes widen and he grabs it out of her hand, crouching in front of Jace and unlocking the shackles on his wrists.

“Wait, where did you get a key?” Jace asks, hoping his sister hasn’t gotten herself into trouble for his sake.

“Are you seriously questioning me when I’m trying to free you?” She huffs, then smiles fondly. “If you must know, one of the guards has a thing for me –.”

“Izzy, all of the guards have a thing for you,” Alec interrupts. He sets Jace free, then stands. “It’s the new guys, isn’t it? Only he’d be stupid enough to take his eyes off the keys to a prisoner’s cuffs.”

“ _Simon_ is not stupid,” Isabelle defends, crossing her arms, “He’s just misled, but he’s coming around.”

“Oh, I bet he’s _coming around_ ,” Jace leers, rubbing at his wrists. Alec scoffs and Izzy rolls her eyes at him.

“In any case, I was able to steal the key from right under his nose. You’re _welcome._ ”

“Thank you, Izzy,” Alec obliges, before turning his attention back to Jace, who is struggling to get off of his knees. He wobbles when he goes to stand, but Alec latches onto his bicep, keeping him upright.

“You okay?” he asks gently, keeping his grip tight on his arm. He looks down and frowns. “Your wrists are bruised.”

“Yeah, but I’m alright, just sore,” Jace assures him. When he sees the look of concern on his brother’s face, he sighs. His brother always found reason to worry. “Alec, I’m fine, I promise.”

Alec nods, sliding his hand away, but Jace grabs it, twining their fingers together. He looks down at their joined hands, and wonders what he did to deserve someone so willing to give up everything for him. When he looks up, Alec is smiling at him.

“I can’t believe you guys are finally together!” Isabelle squeals, clapping her hands. Then, she lunges at them, pulling them both into a crushing hug. “I love you both so much!”

“We love you, too, Iz,” Jace replies once she lets go.

“I don’t think I could have put up with any more royal pining, it’s about damn time you two did something about your feelings.”

“Yeah, too bad it almost cost Alec his kingdom,” Jace says.

“And Jace his life,” Alec adds.

“So, what do we do now?” Jace asks, because, seriously, _what do they do now?_ The Clave wants him dead, the King wants him alive, and the people probably want him exiled. He’d hoped he’d simply be cast out, left to his own devices, knowing that Alec was safe as King, but then he’d gone and opened his big mouth, which in hindsight was not his smartest move. However, he’d accepted that he’d be put to death for his crime, didn’t mind dying as long as Alec was still safe, but now Alec has practically sworn to protect him, making himself a target. It’s not looking good for either of them, but at least he’s not dead. Not yet, at least. “It’s not like we can just disappear.”

“The Clave will be looking for us soon,” Alec adds, glancing at the door, then to Jace. “They’ll expect to find you dead. We have to get out of here.”

“I mean, there is _one_ way you could disappear,” Isabelle hints. She has that mischievous glint in her eye that _always_ spells trouble.

“Izzy,” Alec warns, “What have you gotten yourself into _this_ time?”

“Why must you always assume the worst of me, brother?”

“Because you’ve yet to prove me wrong,” he deadpans. Izzy gasps in mock offense and Jace chuckles.

“Come on, Iz,” he urges, “Let’s hear it.”

“Okay, so I may or may not have run into someone from The Seelie Realm whilst frolicking through the forest a couple years ago –.”

“Izzy!” Alec scolds, “You know better than to venture past the Kingdom boundaries!”

“You went into the Seelie Realm?” Jace adds, shocked. He knows his sister is one to take risks, but this is extreme, even for her. The Shadowhunters and the Fair Folk do _not_ get along, not since the last Downworld War. “Are you crazy?”

“I know, I know, but I was very careful, I promise! I can take care of myself, as you know. Mother never let us play in the forest when we were kids, and my curiosity got the best of me.”

Alec sighs heavily. Jace only shakes his head. “So, you met faerie in the forest, then what happened?”

“Right, I met a Seelie Knight named Meliorn, and before you ask, he didn’t harm me. He only questioned me, asked what business I had in that part of the forest, blah blah blah. He knew I was a Shadowhunter princess, knew he’d be killed on sight if he lay a hand on me. Neither of us were supposed to be in that part of the forest, where our kingdoms overlap, so we kept each other’s secrets, got to talking, and we actually ended up getting along _quite_ well –.”

Isabelle winks and Alec groans, “ _Jesus,_ Izzy –.”

“Anyway! He showed me his hideout, where he goes when he wants to get away from his duties for a while, and he and I are the only people who know it even exists. We would meet up there every so often, back when we were together, and he told me I could come visit whenever I liked, even after I ended things. It’s a small clearing in the corner of the Seelie Realm, close enough to Shadowhunter territory to not be considered trespassing – you’d be safe there.”

“So, our only chance to escape is to run away to the forest, and live in the Seelie Realm?” Jace clarifies, and Isabelle nods.

“It’s either that, or you find someone with a boat to take you to a completely different kingdom, where you’d probably both be imprisoned. At least this way I know where you are, I can help –.”

“No, Izzy, I don’t want you involved,” Jace declares firmly, letting go of Alec’s hand to grab both of hers. He won’t have his sister’s blood on his conscience. “You’ve already risked more than enough for us! I don’t want the Clave to suspect you; they’ll exile you!”

“They _won’t_ , I’ll be fine! I’ll tell them I came to check on Alec, and you were both gone. I’ll say that his guilt over killing you upset him so much that you ran away. I’ll make a whole scene! I’m the princess, they’ll have to believe me.”

Jace looks over at Alec after hearing their sister’s plan, only to find him pacing again.

“Alec,” he starts, stepping toward him, “Are you actually considering this?”

Alexander is silent for a beat before looking up at him. “It _could_ work,” he answers.

“They’ll want to see a body,” Jace reminds them, “How are we going to pull that off?”

“I’ll take care of it,” Isabelle replies, determined. “Time is running out; you guys have to leave _now._ ”

Jace and Alec look at each other for a long moment. Are they really going to do this? Are they really going to run away together, to the middle of the forest, no less?

“This may be our best chance, Jace,” Alec tells him, “What do you think?”

“I meant what I said before,” Jace replies, solemn. “I don’t want to be alive if we can’t be together.”

Alec visibly swallows, then quickly regains his composure. “It’s settled, then,” he announces, turning to Izzy. “Tell us what we need to do.”

Isabelle tells them where to head once they reach the edge of the Shadowhunter Kingdom grounds, explaining to them that the clearing in the Seelie Realm is invisible to unwelcome eyes, which is why, although they’ll only be a couple hours away by foot, they’ll be safe from any guards who hunt them down. She gives them both magical rings – a charm that can be used by non-faeries to find the Seelie Realm.

“When you see Meliorn, show him the rings. He’ll know I sent you, and he’ll help get you supplies and keep you safe.”

They hide out in the stables until nightfall. Isabelle finds them after midnight, once everyone has gone to bed, giving them each a satchel full of food, water, clothes, and other things they may need for the journey. She hands them a letter, asking that they give it to Meliorn. They agree to do so, and in return, Alec gives her three letters.

“Who are these for?” she asks, confused.

“One is for mother. It explains why I ran away and will help keep the Clave off your backs in my absence. The next is for Max, telling him that Jace isn’t dead.”

“Do you think that’s wise?” Isabelle questions, looking at her brothers, “He’s hurting, but if we tell him you’re alive, won’t he look for you?”

“I can’t live knowing that my little brother thinks Alec killed me,” Jace shakes his head, “He’s a smart boy, he knows how to keep a secret.”

“Okay, and what about this last letter?”

“That,” Alec explains, “is my official resignation from the throne, including my replacement. You are now to rule as Queen of the Shadowhunter Kingdom.”

Isabelle blinks at them in awe, and Jace grins.

“Congratulations, Izzy,” he says, hugging her tight, “You deserve this. You’re going to be great.”

She hugs him back, and he can feel wetness on his shoulder where her face is.

“I’m going to miss you so much,” she sobs, pulling back to look at him with a sad smile. “I hope to see you again soon.”

“You will,” Jace promises, “You can come visit us anytime.”

“But not too often,” Alec cautions, “I don’t want the guards to start wondering where you run off to.”

“Oh, big brother, you worry too much,” she accuses playfully, pulling him into a hug. Finally, she steps back, tucking the letters into her dress pocket, and wiping her tears away with her fingers.

“Okay,” she nods, pointing toward the tree line in the distance, “Go now, before someone comes looking for you.”

Jace takes Alec’s hand in his own and squeezes. They look at each other, and even in the darkness of night, Jace can see the pure love that Alec has for him shining through his hazel eyes. He’s not sure where they’ll end up, or how they’ll survive in this new realm on their own, but he’s willing to try if it means they can finally be together.

“I love you,” he says, and it’s a promise, a vow that whatever happens, his heart will always belong to Alexander.

“I love you,” Alec echoes, like it’s not a secret anymore, but an oath, and Jace believes every word.

For once in their lives, they do precisely as they’re told: They run.

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my first Jalec story -- a torturous royal romance. Each chapter is the title of a song that I feel encompasses that part of the story, and I will post the short playlist I made for this fic once it's completed. The chapters will vary in length, but hopefully include both Alec and Jace POVs every time.  
> This was a random idea that I couldn't let go of, so I hope you enjoy! <3


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